I’ve talked about masculinity before a couple of times on the podcast - the argument I’ve made is that we need more positive male role models that encapsulate the values of mindfulness, which we’ve also talked about recently - acceptance, non-judgement, compassion, being present, patience and understanding.
The recent big trend on the internet is for the opposite - macho influencers have gained enormous traction on social media and you might have come across people like Andrew Tate, Hunter Moore or Jordan Peterson. I really wouldn’t suggest searching for their content as it’s upsetting. The values they advocate for generally include discrimination, self sufficiency and emotional insensitivity but the specific actions falling out of these range from the self destructive to cruel and unusual - all in guise of self help for young men struggling with their mental health.
In particular they’re very focused on power structures and the importance of hierarchies. One group is destined to be in power, another group is destined to be powerless and led by the other. And if you feel powerless you could get stuck in the wrong group - so join my pyramid scheme / internet course / self help book. One divide that they come back to again and again is gender - they consistently advocate for subjugation of women through psychological and sometimes physical control.
It’s not a coincidence that this is the divide that they focus on. The young men that they target are lonely, angry and afraid. Their answer to this is blaming women, chasing power, achievement, consumption, violence and suppression of feeling. Despite being miserable themselves (JP being an example), they peddle this as a lifestyle for men and an answer to their problems.
Why does this matter? There’s a couple of reasons. The first is that I know the world I want to live in. It's a world where people are kind to each other, we treat each other as equals, rather than being ever more productive we prioritise our mental health and look after each other. We live in freedom, peace and happiness. In other words, sangha. I want to make it happen, that’s why I do this podcast. The gospel of hustle and discrimination being posted on social media and targeted at young men is taking us down a different path, a path of suffering.
Which leads to my second point - that we’re in danger of losing the battle for young men’s hearts. Before the internet, extreme views would be questioned in the communities in which you live. In the social media age, young men can join online communities that follow alpha male influencers and have untruths about the roles of men and women, power structures and what makes for a happy life fed to them unchallenged. Spending time in these echo chambers can result in being radicalised in a number of other ways.
I know what you’re thinking - “Shaun I came here to relax and you’re kinda bumming me out. ” Which I understand - but it’s important to know what’s happening out there and how important you are. We talked about values a couple of weeks ago and being confident in who you are by understanding the principles that guide your actions.
The answer to these challenges lies with your family, your friends, your brother, your son, your nephew. If you see a young man (or anyone) struggling with their mental health or starting to withdraw, spend some time with them. Ask them what’s bothering them and just be there for them to listen to. None of what I’ve said is designed to point the finger at young men and their problems - I was one of those lonely, angry young men. Or even to judge these alpha male influencers who are clearly traumatised individuals who are responding to the financial incentives that stirring up controversy on social media creates. We need to better regulate social media by the way…
You can make a difference through your daily practice, working on your calmness so that when someone is struggling you can see it and respond. Most of the time the response that’s needed is listening.
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